I have spent a great deal of my life feeling as if I don’t belong… And for some strange reason the older I get the stronger that feeling, at times, can become…
I’m not a big drinker (and in all honesty, drunk people tend to get on my nerves). I don’t do drugs (although in my teens and 20’s, if you could smoke it… snort it… or swallow it… I tried it). I still believe in monogamy (which in Los Angeles can be as foreign of a concept as water on the moon – Here virtually everyone lives by either the NSA/I have a partner rule or the “Don’t ask don’t tell” school of thought). I am a firm believer in communication (I believe common ground can be found in any situation if people are willing to listen to one another). And I believe honesty should be a way of life for all of us.
As with most people, I have moments where I am completely baffled by others behavior. Life would be so much easier if others would just abided by my rules… I get that why don’t they? Imagine it! A world where everyone played by my rules! How amazing would that be! And then reality sets in… That would be a nightmare. I get on my nerves! Can’t imagine never being able to get away from “me”.
So, I had this epiphany I thought I would share. Not feeling like a stranger is about unconditional acceptance and love for others. My rules are mine. Why should anyone else abide by them? And I believe there in lies the key to “fitting in”. No expectations just a knowing that we are all part of a 7 billion piece jigsaw puzzle and somewhere out there, there are a number of other pieces that will eventually fit perfectly together with who I am (and I’ve been lucky enough to have already found a few).
So, for the most part my “feeling like I don’t belong” is self-imposed. The journey continues.