Conversations with My 13-Year-Old Self

Ever wonder what you would say to yourself at a younger age if you had the chance?

I look back at who I was when I was younger and have such compassion for that boy.  He was lonely, scared and literally crippled by the circumstances that surrounded him.  A little compassion goes a long way and extending it to ourselves in the past can be quite healing.  It also makes it easier to extend that same compassion in the present.  Not only to ourselves but also to others.

Adult Michael:     Hey.

Little Michael:      Hey.

Adult Michael:     I’m sorry you’re feeling so alone.

Little Michael:      It’s okay.

Adult Michael:     No, it’s not.  Life shouldn’t be this hard for you…

Little Michael:      Then why is it?

Adult Michael:     I wish there were an easy answer for that, but there’s not…  You will figure it out though, I promise.  In the meantime, I want you to keep something in mind…

Little Michael:      What?

Adult Michael:     You are an amazing young man.  Trust your heart…  And believe what it tells you…  God does not make mistakes and you are exactly who you are supposed to be.  Can you do that for me?  Trust your heart?

Little Michael:      I’ll try…

Adult Michael:     Hey, look at me.  You know you deserve to be happy, right?

Little Michael:      No…

Adult Michael:     Well, I’m here to tell you that you do.  And I want you to know things will get better.

Little Michael:      When?

Adult Michael:     You’re going to have to be patient but you need to know, you are not alone.  There are people out there who have exactly the same feelings you’re having…  And they are completely normal.  Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are and I promise you, one day soon you will be surrounded by people who will love you for exactly who that person is.

Little Michael:      Why can’t they now?

Adult Michael:     Some people just don’t know how to… And I know that it may feel like it but that has nothing to do with you.  You are perfect just the way you are and I need you to believe that, no matter what anyone else tells you.  Promise me that, okay.

Little Michael:      I promise.

Adult Michael:     Good.  Now I’m going to make you a promise…  When you’re older, you will have amazing adventures…  You’ll even get to swim with a humpback whale in the ocean.

Little Michael:      No way!  They’re my favorite!

Adult Michael:     I know…

Little Michael:      When!

Adult Michael:     Remember what I said about patience.

Little Michael:      Fine…  But I’ll really get to swim with a humpback?

Adult Michael:     Cross my heart…  Now I want to ask you something again…  You know you deserve to be happy, right?

Little Michael:      I guess.

Adult Michael:     Can you do me a favor?

Little Michael:      Sure.

Adult Michael:      Say “yes”…

Little Michael:      Yes…

Adult Michael:     Thank you…

Little Michael:      You’re welcome…

Excerpt from “A Friend of Dorothy / Life on the Yellow Brick Road”   Michael Foley

 

About the Author

Michael Foley

Michael Foley currently lives in Los Angeles where he pursues his passions. Writing, psychology, spirituality and politics. He has been a fierce advocate for LGBT rights since the early 80′s, during which time he was part of New York City’s Act-Up and a volunteer at the Gay Men’s Health Crisis. He has worn many hat’s over the years including nearly a decade in Corporate America where he was an Operations Manager in the Insurance Industry (please don’t hold that against him). Today he is a produced playwright and actor who continues to support and fight for LGBT equality and the healing of the LGBT Community.