Seriously, Dr. Ruth?!

There are a lot of ignorant people in the world… And because of that one has to choose his or her battles wisely… Today I choose to battle.

This week Dr. Ruth made one of the most ignorant statements I’ve heard in some time… And that’s saying something in today’s world. The statement was in regard to Jason Collin’s coming out which, in my opinion, was nothing short of heroic. Obviously Dr. Ruth had a different take, hence this post.

This is just a little taste of what she said: “I find it very sad… because it is a private matter”. Of course she was referring to his sexuality and his choice to come out.

Click on the link to hear the interview in its entirety… After some back peddling it actually gets worse.

Now, maybe I got so bent out of shape because she’s a “therapist”… Or maybe it’s because she has made a living out of speaking about sexuality (hetero – sexuality)… Or maybe it’s just that stupid people really bug the crap out of me and today I have little patience. Who knows?

Here’s the thing. Sexuality is not a “private matter”… It would be great if it were but its not… Not in today’s world. Lawmakers and “holy” men have made sure of that. For decades laws have been passed to discriminate against us and for centuries LGBT community members have been persecuted… Hell, some heterosexuals and/or self-loathing closeted homosexuals (can you say “Westboro Baptists”) have made it their life’s work to prevent us from living the lives we were intended to live. It’s some heterosexuals who choose to make our sexuality an issue, not us. Let’s be real here… If other people kept their nose out of our bedrooms there would be no issue… We could be who we are and they could be who they are… It’s that simple.

Another point in regard to the “private matter” thing… I and everyone else in the LGBT community have spent our lives watching heterosexual couples showing affection for one another in public (and don’t get me wrong here; I love public displays of affection… Hell, I cheer for them).  Point here is, that even in the most benign of circumstances, one’s sexuality bleeds through into public life.  And why shouldn’t it if you love someone?  What I take issue with and what it sounds like to me is that Dr. Ruth doesn’t believe we deserve that right…  That we should keep who we are “in the closet” so as not to offend friends…  Or family…  Or co-workers…  That “private” only pertains to those of us in the LGBT community.  And therein lies the source of my anger. And therein is what makes me want to say, “Fuc* you” to the good doctor.

It is the height of hypocrisy to say sexuality is a “private matter”. It’s even more offensive when it comes from someone who claims to be a “sex therapist”. Dr. Ruth is the perfect example of why we are forced to talk about our sexuality. She is a fool and as long as people like her exist we will have to continue to speak out.

Believe me when I say this, I cannot wait for the day when who someone loves is a nonissue. Sadly that day is not today.


Michael Foley

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Michael Foley

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Michael Foley currently lives in Los Angeles where he pursues his passions. Writing, psychology, spirituality and politics. He has been a fierce advocate for LGBT rights since the early 80′s, during which time he was part of New York City’s Act-Up and a volunteer at the Gay Men’s Health Crisis. He has worn many hat’s over the years including nearly a decade in Corporate America where he was an Operations Manager in the Insurance Industry (please don’t hold that against him). Today he is a produced playwright and actor who continues to support and fight for LGBT equality and the healing of the LGBT Community.