We’ve Only Just Begun

A few days ago I was at the gym listening to Pandora Radio on my iPhone when BAM! The Carpenters “We’ve Only Just Begun” started to play (unlike most people I tend to like mellow music when I work out.  What can I say, I’m weird that way) and in the middle of my stretching I was hit by a tidal wave of emotions…  And then I start to cry because all of a sudden the reality of The Supreme Court’s decision sunk in on an incredibly deep level. 

You see, when I was younger “We’ve Only Just Begun” was THE wedding song.  And as much as I celebrated the love of my friends joining together for one of life’s greatest adventures, there was always this underlying feeling of resentment.  Resentment because, at that time, I knew that no matter how much I loved someone, and no matter how pure that love was, I would never be able to experience what they we’re feeling in that moment of moments.  I wanted to, desperately, because I am now and always have been a hopeful romantic…  I do believe love conquers all…  And I do believe that there is no greater gift than the gift of love.  But the country I lived in and the society that I was a part of told me I was not worthy of such a thing…  That who I was wasn’t good enough for the sanctity of marriage.  But on June 26th 2013, all of that changed and the day after that there I was crying at Gold’s Gym because I had an epiphany.   


*And before I go any further I just want to clarify something for those of you who may still be oblivious about a very important aspect of an LGBT relationship.  It is not just about sex (although, just like you, it is an aspect of our relationships).  Our hearts have now and always will be what grounds our love.  Our hearts have now and always will be responsible for the light that guides us to our rightful place next to our soul mates.  If you believe otherwise then I ask that you take a closer look at your own relationship…  Perhaps it is you who needs to rethink the definition of the word “marriage”.* 

Sorry for the detour.  Back to the epiphany…

I knew that from that moment forward no LGBT child would grow up in a country that treats them as less than.  They may still have to confront the hateful words of the ignorant but now they would also hear a different voice.  The voice of a country that says, “You are valued and there is no shame in loving.”

I also knew that from that moment forward LGBT children would be blessed with the knowledge that the country they live in knows they are equals in every sense of the word.  And because of that, they would be entitled to all of the legal rights a heterosexual couple is given when they are lucky enough to find the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. 

It was a hell of a moment for me.

Now, I know to some this whole “marriage thing” may seem trivial but to millions what happened on June 26th  2013, was life changing.  What I witnessed, what we all witnessed, was a validation of something we in the LGBT Community have always known.  To love is a blessing…  And as a community we will walk together with a new found sense of purpose and unity.  We will take pride in the fact we are capable of opening our hearts to love another human being…  But more importantly we will take pride in knowing that our love has changed the world.  And who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll get to dance to “We’ve Only Just Begun” with my husband.

Michael Foley



About the Author

Michael Foley

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Michael Foley currently lives in Los Angeles where he pursues his passions. Writing, psychology, spirituality and politics. He has been a fierce advocate for LGBT rights since the early 80′s, during which time he was part of New York City’s Act-Up and a volunteer at the Gay Men’s Health Crisis. He has worn many hat’s over the years including nearly a decade in Corporate America where he was an Operations Manager in the Insurance Industry (please don’t hold that against him). Today he is a produced playwright and actor who continues to support and fight for LGBT equality and the healing of the LGBT Community.