“Who would choose this?” A question often times used as an argument when confronted with those narrow-minded folks who still cling to the idea that “the gay” is a choice… And, a question that I have loathed since the very first time I heard it.
You see, “Who would choose this?” could imply to those less evolved individuals that we believe that there is something inherently wrong with who we are. “Who would choose this?” might also be interpreted as some kind of apology to those same bigots and homophobes because it makes it sound as if we’ve been given this horrible cross to bear and if we could, we would put it down tomorrow and live out the rest of our lives as an every so happy heterosexual. And none of that, not a single word could be further from the truth. I know it and the vast majority of the LGBT community knows it but there are still some people living on this planet who don’t… Who actually “choose” not to get it… And because of that I would like to ask a request of the LGBT Community followed by a statement to the rest of those folks who “choose” to see us as flawed or damaged.
To LGBT Community members: Please stop using this statement. It doesn’t serve us.
To you folks who “choose” to live with your heads in the sand: “Who would choose this?” I would. I would choose it every second of every minute of every hour of every day I have ever lived without a single apology to ANYONE. I would choose it because I believe being part of the LGBT Community is a gift… A gift that has afforded all of us within the community the opportunity to truly understand the meaning of words like “pride” and “love” because we have had to fight to own them. We have also had to fight for understanding and compassion from our families and friends who feel unconditional love stops at the doorstep of our sexuality. And wonders of wonders, today – in the year 2014 – we continue to fight for that elusive ideal called “equality”. And all of these struggles, and all of these challenges, have given us a strength that you will never be able to comprehend and has galvanized us into a community… No, not a community, a family… A family that knows with every fiber of our being, and beyond any shadow of a doubt, that those who are “damages” or “flawed” are those who “choose” to live with hate in their hearts… A family that has discovered that unity is our strength and visibility is our salvation… A family that can now stand firm in the knowing that we are perfect as we were created…. A family that knows that love is our birthright and that it always has been.
So now I will ask a question. A question long over due: “Who wouldn’t choose this?”
Michael Foley
